I am sitting here in Lil Azio yumm.  I just enjoyed a nice sizeable portion of fried calamari with a decent sized salad of fresh greens, tomatoes, olives, cucumbers, red onions and mozarella covered in a light zesty lemon dressing.  While on the verge of rumbling, my belly is full, my mouth is satisfied, and I the Naturi Beauty in the making am disappointed.  Trust me, the food isn’t the problem, I mean after all it was quite yummy….or …is it?  Shiznit. This is hard.

You see the problem is that I was on day 3 of a fast.  So much for  Day 3.  I did so well for the first 2 days.  I did well because I was in my house away from the influences of the world, away from the temptations of smells coming from restaurants and fast food joints, away from colorful billboards with blown up graphic images of food porn….away.  In my safe haven, in my home aptly and lovingly called the Goddess Abode, being just that….a Goddess nourishing, nurturing and growing.

And then I stepped out, and the minute I stepped out, I met a friend, who lovingly bestowed not One but THREE slices of Triple Chocolate Cake, that was left over from a family function…WTF?!?!  Aww Universe, you’re good!  Testing me already, it’s not even the double digits of the morning.  Then another friend received an extra biscuit and thought that it was a good idea to offer it to me.  Of course it was an excellent idea….just not today Dammit!  Sigh. I took the cake and refused the biscuit. Sigh!

I carried the cake around and thought of all the possible ways that I could save it and enjoy it without ruining this delightful, Manifestation Solstice fast that I am on.  I was like…

• “Ooooh maybe I’ll freeze it then eat it later..nah that will taste nasty.”
• “Oooooh I know,  I know I’ll give it to my other friend because she love’s chocolate! “

Yes that’s what I’ll do.  The problem, I wasn’t going to see my friend for a few more hours.  That meant, that I would have to carry this piece of gourmet chocolate goodness on my person and not eat it!!! WTH?!?!?!  Who does that? Not me? I’m sorry, I would love to meet that version of me again, she came once before, but didn’t stay for long, after all she is still manifesting dammit!!  And I’m just not there.  So I did what any reasonable person would do, I opened the crisply wrapped foil very carefully so I could “see” what it looked like.  I mean, after all, if it looked nasty, then I woudn’t mind giving it away…right?  So, I opened it and found a very beautiful slice of heaven. Dang!  And then I inhaled and the Goddess of Xocoatl consumed my innards.  LAWD!!!!  So I was like, hmmmm….negotiation time.

• There are 3 slices, perhaps if I eat just 1 slice, then I can give the other 2 away and since it’s only just 1 slice then it’s not like I really broke my fast, I mean it’s such a small slice and it’s still morning and if I just drink loads of water like I planned it will be like normal, right?

So what did I decide….I indulged and savored every bit of the moist, chocolatey deliciousness that licked my palate. Oh GAWSH!~ Yep, it was that good.  Then the second slice looked at me and was like, “word, so you only gonna eat her? I don’t get in on the action?” And I looked back at it and I was like, yeah that would be kinda jacked up, right?”  So I obliged the slice my seemingly overpowering desire.  Then I wrapped it back up with all the force of a Mother putting her foot down and was like, “ok, enough of this nonsense, get back on track!” and I delivered it into the hands of my fellow chocoholic friend.

How did I even end up at Lil Azio’s, you ask….yeah about thaaaat!  So the rest of the day went very well, I had my water, my green drink and then I had an experience.  One that excited me and nerved me to my core.  I was hungry.  Hungry for food AND hungry for the satiating feeling that she brings.  I needed to sit down with a bowl of greens and my fave seafood and plant the rest of this journey. Plant it so deep down, that it’s roots can’t be moved.  Plant it so that the next time, someone kind and good-willed says “Shelley, I saved you a piece of my Momma’s famous Chocolate Brownie drizzled with White Chocolate  loaded with Toffee chunks”  I can unwaveringly say….no thanks, I’m fasting.

My first post ever detailed our love affair. Food is that deep to me.  I relate to her and she to me.  We have an understanding.  So why fast?  Because she is the flip side of the process.  Fasting and Food are opposites of the same coin.  I can’t spend my quarter and only embrace Mr. Washington’s face.  The entire coin has value.  So I am teaching myself the intrinsic value of this Culinary journey that I’ve chosen. One that embraces my Being holistically.  Not only does it tantalize my tastebuds and energize my body but it beautifies my soul and therein lies my growth.  Onwards Naturi Beauty…The journey continues…..